Tuesday, August 29, 2006
For dated: 28082006(Day 13)
I found myself the whole morning in a low mood. No much strength to face the world today.
Not even to write my blog.
When i finalize myself o open up the create page, i have the whole head blank pages.
Nothing and restless.
People around me told me that i need time, maybe more time this round to get up, get stronger.
I don't it myself because there are so much things in mind that i found no words to describe.
Well, I guess i think too much and i stressed out too easly nowadays.
But who could have understood the intake of stress and distraughts that have been inflicted?
If my words have too much hidden meanings, let it be.
I met up with shane yesterday.
She had finished her operation and i found her mother supportive of it.
No, i don't envy her of that.
Because I could never be like that and the consequences are heavy.
We belongs differently.
We think differently.
Is there really a such need to be eternity happy?
Is that what you really want and positive that ur partner will never leave you?
Is that what is what meant to be?
I told her my true point, i wish that everything will work out well for her, i wish her all the best.
Really, truly my blessings. I really want things to work out and i wanna be happy for her.
Anyway, we spent most of the time talking about the OP, but i wasn't the lest thinking or listening through it.
I'm sorry i did this but, i can't absorb all these in my mind.
Well, i went home at about 11pm and i was searching for a way out of there because it's far too confusing for me. Called DOCTOR after she done her blog and she was actually sparing me that pathetic 15mins to voice what i have.(he.)How much are you charging for 5mins then?(he..)
Oh ya, let's not forgetting her 500bucks facial products.(500 FACE.)
She had mention a friend of her whom she known for 10years and she'd a sudden change of attitude towards her and don't know what's wrong.
Factors again :
If it wasn't for something you did. It's more to like she didn't like the way you lived.
You are always happy-go-lucky and you dun seems to show stress towards life.
I figure that her blog was cause of it. Although to me, it looks more like a creative ADs and I like it.
But seriously speaking, not eveyone think the way i do.
Maybe she don't really talk about the times she was down.
Maybe she don't want her blog to contain sadness and madness.
What she thinks is good, not all people can see it but until the end of a period, you will get the picture.
Reason why i said that is, she has shown me that and i glad she stood by me still today.
If you are reading this i hope you don't mind what i say or written here.
This afterall my blog.
What happened in the past was silly and i admit i was naive.
I will not explain too much because what done is done and the knot can never be released in me.
There's no need to talk more.
I spent too much time hiding away from you because i was ashamed, until this very day.
I appreciate what you have for me as a good friend every now and then, i will not forget that.
No amount of words and apology can make me a better person.
Don't get yourself involved in my current plight, you should have better friends to share your life and story.
Did anyone told you that you have the abilities to console pple well even when your ANG MO is so CIM.(ha)//
And i didn't remember(DARN), she did. We have been friends for like 6 years. (???)
She had a long day so we talked awhile and guess what, i fell asleep immediately after hanging up.
My body wasn't giving way, it's my brains.
Guess it's so tired after a long day spinning ard and ard, like a fruit-punch machine.
(HA)I'm closing here for this day entry.
P.S:
I know you got my card. That's all i need to know.
Please delete away the others, it's more then i can take it.
Certain things cannot be washed away like hands and soap.
Yes, you can but i can't.
Since you already have your life back, don't bother about me.
Move on, start over.
I'm not faithful, I'm just testing my patience.
chr|s on 2:14 PM
