Thursday, August 31, 2006
Dated : 31082006(Day15)
Time : 0846pm
Today's is the end of the 10 years nightmare..
And the start of another, yet small version nightmare.
The difference is still a big gap of amount.
I am waiting to see a better day tomorrow.
Much relaxed and strainless day.
You know the kinda feeling whereby you are strucked in a dark hole and waiting to see daylight again?
I see that bit of sun ray and panicking to see more of it.
At least when you have hope clinging on, you are going to get out of it soon.
P.H.E.W.
Today, during my conversation with DOC, there are discussion about love.
I asked her to define it and she just said, there's actually no definition.
I agreed to that.
Even if you could define it, there's good and bad.
There's sweet and bitter.
There's happiness and tears.
Since it's so complicated, why define it?
Simple as it is.
You love someone, you love.
You don't love someone, you don't.
I'm alittle weird.
Betrayal or not, i'm still here.
It;s like when you have lotsa pictures on hand, those good and bad ones.
And you decided to only cut out the bad ones.
Keeping the good ones close to you.
That's me.
HEADACHE.
A very bad one stayed with me for the whole day.
I was, FRUSRATED, angry and going half-mad becos of that.
Looking at the panadols my sister just passed me, i think i will take it before i slep.
I just had my gastric syrup and i didn't wanna mix them up.(he)
TIRED.
Recently i'm just like that.
Felt that i have lost my life.
Seeking for a new meaning in my path.
I'm desperate trying to walk but i see no direction still.
That's how i felt all these while.
Funny how life is.
Time : 0943pm
MEMORIES.
Suddenly everything flashed back.
Something i have never explained.
Something i have been bagging.
Something that nothing can cover up.
Something i have been hiding.
Something that made me ran away than to face it.
It's was already a mistake from the start.
No amount of words could cover everything.
IRREPONSIBLE ME.
Years after years, i still see her, still hear her.
I did wanna explain but i can't.
Don't blame me if i don't look at you when i talk.
I didn't know how to face you.
I didn't know how fortunate i was, that you will still be a friend.
I would rather you will never forgive me.
Thinking back, i cannot blame anyone for my mistake.
Like i say, as long as everyone is happy now.
There's no need for explaination.
I know you wish to know.
One day.
I will tell you when there is need.
I'm contented in what i'm now and i'm content in what you have now.
Be happy, please be happy.
P.s: Don't worry for me, i will be fine.(I missed you.)
chr|s on 8:43 PM
