Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Dated : 30082006(Day 15)
Time : 0956pm
I spent the whole morning and afternoon driving out, rushing from point A to point B then to the final point to slot in all all the cheque we could possibly get.
On the other hand, my sister and dad went over my uncles's company for that special talk again.
We expect it's going to be tough, stressful.
I couldn't sleep the whole night, could almost feel my head bursting away.
Switched on thenradio and stared at the ceiling.
With so much things in mind and heart, i should be at least crying out.
I didn't..
Didn't know where to start from at all.
On the radio there are song after song, love songs.
Mainly oldies from when i starts loving them when in teens.
So, i used my unbalanced time to sing them on eby one, until i fell asleep.
I guess i was tired.
I made myself not to smoke so much yesterday on my bed.
It's disturbed me because i needed that as a companion.
Anyway, i came back with my mum at about 3plus in the noon and sat facing at my computer staring at my wallpaper.
I found myself breathless for the whole day, like my chest having a big stone on it.
It's wasn't the 1st time, doctor can't cure me.
It's the mind's problem, he said.
He requested me to quit my work twice in my face and i just smiled.
All he could help is to prescribe some relaxation medication for me to sleep better.(he, what have i done to myself?)
As i watch the clock and waited for time to pass..
It's was already dark and raining heavily by the time my sister came back to the office.
All she did initially was to pass out a huge looking cheque.
I then put all down the huge stone..
But, the conditions was a little hard for us in future.
It wasn't any loan from them, it's the funds from my grandfather's company and we have a deadline.
I knew it.
They wouldn't let him die but it's going to be a strong strain on us, not him.
I truly understand what my sister had been through.
All the stress and humiliations. ARGH.
Time : 1151pm
Sorry i went away.
DOC dropped by at yishun and she seems so HEATED.(he.)
So, i changed and went to nearby MRT station, met her, bought her a cup of barley and decided that will cool her down before she can start her stories.
She was kinda sacked by her company today and it was actually agreed on self-resignation until sept.
They gave an excuses that her productivity was low and therefore was asked to leave today.
She was confused and boiling up as everything to her was a rush and a pack of lie, i think.
Anyway, i kinda told her about what i felt as the boss and herself.
For my thinkings, a boss can never stand a employee leaving because they aren't happy in their company so, they have negative stuffs to say about you. Morever you are a part-time staffs only.
For yourself, i agree in your thinkings to leave an unhappy place if there isn't any point.
Nope of the parties have a real fault, i am to say.
I mean, i should by right cheer up my friend at this point of time seriously, but you want my opinions and you have it.
In time to come, you will face greater challenges, this is only a small backset, trust me.
In every part of your steps in life, walk slowly and think carefully where to walk.
Where you decide to walk, face the consequence, find a solution if there's a pubble ahead.
Maybe my advises isn't so so, perfect but these are my past steps.
I need you to know and face it if it's coming.
My friend, everyone's always thinking of everyway to have a good, easy and better life, not only yourself.
I admire your thinkings for the poor and strays but, each person has a limited abilities.
You ought to bring yourself to a suitable level before accomplishing your dreams.
I believe that you will be able to do it but you needed more time and experiences.
Everyone will have their 1st bad experience, feel it and ask yourself what went wrong.
Remember what i said about, "There must be something that have caused a fire"?
Find the cause and you will get an answer.
As a friend now, i like to say.
Take a bath, write down all the frustrations in your blog, shut it off and tuck yourself to bed.
Tomorrow you will feel better, consider the fact that you are that "happy-go-lucky" person.. I think you can. :)
Remember what you always say to me?
"Tomorrow will be better because you had all the bad stuffs today already".
Or take my another advise..
Free tomorrow, drop by a game-shop and hit the hell out.
I promise, that's a better way to release all your &%#%^$.(ha.)
By the way, i wish you all the best for the tomorrow interview, smile more to boss, no need to boot-lick.
Little girl, you have more to learn.
Next few months you are going to be 21, going adult, so you should what i mean.(he.)
Sorry i wasn't prepared to meet you up just now, i know what you are going to say as usual.
Ya, i didn't change much. I wasn't prepared to change.
But, i glad you have change alot during these years and more confident looking too.
I guess we had the hell of the day today.
Although your's couldn't be compared to mine, i hope you will be able to get it over soon.
What a day, bad, cold and rainy day.
I didn't realise that it was so cold until i walked under the rain at noon and the late evening.
It was wrong to do that, i understand i will get sick doing that.
I guess i really need that at that point.
Hoping that it will wash away everything little things.
Time : 1230am
Tiredness everywhere.
My body.
My mind.
My heart.
My nose bled today and i hate it.
I'm off.
I hope i can shut my brains like my computer.
P.s: I hope you are coping well there.(I miss you so much.) =_(
chr|s on 9:59 PM
