Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Dated : 11112006 - OCTOBERTime: 1234pm.
It finally just rained today.
For days/weeks it seems like spore is gong through bad drought or something.
I would hide at my comfy work place or in my car just to hide off from the extreme heat. (PHEW)
I have been down on a bad cough, flu but with a healthy diet still.
I can still take up to 4 meals a day without problems.
Someone always tell me that if you are happy, you will finish up everything in your bowl.
We have no choice but to believe that because i have tried it and it's always amazing how ah chris is able to finish up her food. ;p
Met shane the day before for coffee with DOC at my place.
From there i think she might be facing lotsa problems like feeding an expensive mouth gf and business isn't smooth.
She is solely supporting 3 vehicles per month and a few workers to feed.
She just had an operation and will be doing the rest, i suppose.. next year bah.
To me, she has the abilties to bring income to her Company but she was also a big spender.
Just the other time, i spotted her with a gold card. (Spending future money, get what i am saying?)
My theory is still the same, unless i have a special need for applying or i will never do something like that.
Not that i feel she can't afford just that she admitted she can't make ends meet every end of the month.
Then, why do it?
Because your gf is special and that the need for a card? I never did ask her but that's just humans.
At the end of the day when you can't afford to pay off credit company, the consequences is harsh.
I have seen that situation before and i really hope everything work out for her.
(Don't be reckless of what's making you proud, always think properly if there's a need.)
Bryan's out of job again.
Called her almost everyda to see if she's looking out for a new job.
Tired and defeated, i really have no idea what right and wrong.
Knowing the fact that she can never appreciate and do something i could be at least proud of, my persistance is a total madness from the start.
One fine day if i were to see her begging on the street, should i spat at her?
I know for sure mine will be smooth in future, i could never include her inside.
She's a dreadful good-for-nothing that my family members could never ever accept her as part of us.
"You are what you are. "
"You hold your future in your hands and you create your own world."
"Don't blame others if nobody cares for you or despite you, only yourself.."
DOC's birthday coming.
15 OCT is her birthday chalet, 23 OCT is her actual birthday.(hmmm? dump her to the sea since she can swim very well then.)
I am hesitating to for the chalet on a few points.
1st, i don't know her friends nor her relatives and i think i'm too unti-social. ;p
2nd, i don't really think i wanna see miss serene.
3rd, birthday girl is supposely to be busy and i do not wish to distract her by moving here and there. (really.)
Lastly, i have work the following day. (Lame loh.) ;p
Have a BASHING 21th BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for telling me that you wanna intro ur friends to me, i really appreciate. :)
During this many weeks, we had exchanged many words and questions.
A gap of 5 years and 5 years questions all for me, i felt stumped.
Ever understood how it feels to have all answers and unanswered qns for 5 years?
For an unstable condition i'm having now, i'm still not ready for more and commitments.
The very last time took me for about a year or so & i did some savings and half way through quitting smoking.
I feel i'm getting worse.
Didn't wanna dress up at all.
Didn't wanna wear my new shoes frequently.
Didn't wanna style my hair anymore.
Didn't wanna keep my clothes in order or neat anymore.
Didn't wanna watch anymore tv dramas.
Didn't wanna read anymore books.
LIFELESS BODY.
What was i thinking, wishing?
I have not any idea, seriously.
Maybe i'm poisoned, totally cursed.
I'm thankful that DOC's always there for me, shared good and bad.
Give me more time and i will keep myself up-right.
chr|s on 12:34 PM
